A beautiful woman was in my studio last week. As she tried on a scarf she glimpsed herself in the mirror and announced that she has a ghost in her house that appears in her mirror whenever she looks at her reflection. I laughed and replied the same ghost visits me. Also last week a friend revealed anxiety around her relevance in the world. Then friends on Facebook shared these timely articles in the New York Times -- one specifically about women aging, and the other about Frances McDormand, a talented and thoughtful actress I greatly admire. "She is 60 and sexy in the manner of women who have achieved total self possession." Now that's juicy. I want to achieve total self possession. I want that waaaaay more than thin thighs, no silver streaks in my hair and a wrinkle-free face. I want to experience complete presence, ease, confidence, the ability to listen deeply and eloquently communicate any wisdom I may have to offer. What a thrill to let go of the ideal female beauty story and feel comfortable in my own skin. It is so liberating to not reproach myself if I laugh a bit too loudly, cry in public places, look directly into someone's eyes, make the work I want to make. I couldn't do that comfortably in my teens, 20's or even my 30's. I am learning this better as I near 50, and my connections to loved ones (even strangers) deepens because of this. As I mature I look forward to being more and more strongly rooted in this space and all the possibilities that that includes. May we all achieve total self possession.